The Hunger to Belong: 5 BACON Steps to Build Real Connection

Marty Jalove Master Happiness

2 days ago

6 min read

The Hunger to Belong: 5 BACON Steps to Build Real Connection

You Built the Room. Do You Belong in It?

Picture this. You drive 40 miles to a meeting. You walk in, scan the room, and find a seat. Nobody says hello. Nobody shakes your hand. You sit there alone, surrounded by people.

Now flip it. How many times have you been the one checking badges, cueing the emcee, and making sure every attendee feels welcome, while nobody checks on you?

We plan meals. We plan workouts. We plan entire conferences down to the coffee breaks. But how often do we plan for belonging?

That question sits at the heart of the first bite in our three-part series on Bacon Bits with Master Happiness.

With Special Guest:

Bette Lawrence-Water

Benedictine University, MPH Lecturer

Follow us at: www.MasterHappiness.com/live or “Bacon Bits with Master Happiness” on Apple Podcast, Spotify, Amazon Music, Audible, iHeart Radio or wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts.

See it on YouTube

Three Bites of Happiness Begins

Episode 1, The Hunger to Belong, kicks off the Three Bites of Happiness series with a returning favorite, Bette Lawrence-Waters.

Bette is a public health lecturer, community health advocate, and life coach. She has taught healthier living in China, Ghana, and Venezuela. Marty met her when she spoke on happiness at a Mensa Halloween convention, and he grabbed a front-row seat on the spot.

From the first minute, the energy crackles. Marty calls Bette "a breath of fresh air." He admits he'll cut her off now and then "because it's my show and I like to talk too." Bette laughs right along with him.

Her message is simple and science-backed. Belonging matters to our health as much as food, water, and exercise. As she puts it, we arrive in this world tethered to another human. When the cord is cut, we cry until someone holds us again.

We never really stop needing to be held.

The BACON Plan for Belonging

On this show, we're not talking about bacon for chewing. We're talking about bacon for doing. Here's the five-step recipe Marty and Bette served up.

B: Begin Within

Belonging starts with how you treat yourself. Marty asked a pointed question: Would you talk to a friend the way you talk to yourself? If we constantly beat ourselves up, we can't accept praise from others or offer it freely.

Bette lives this. Years ago, she became the first woman in a male-dominated management program. Some colleagues resented her. Instead of retreating, she decided to "kill them with kindness." She set the example she wanted to see and won people over one by one.

Today, at 82, she refuses to let anyone pigeonhole her. Her motto? "I'm rewired, not retired."

Your takeaway: Decide who you are before the room decides for you.

Bette and Marty in the studio

A: Ask With Curiosity

"How you doing?" is basically a wave from across the parking lot. Marty challenges us to ask better questions, like "What was the best part of your week?"

Curiosity opens doors across generations, too. Bette keeps friends of every age. She shows up as a learner, not a know-it-all. One young friend recently taught her the Michael Jackson moonwalk, something she'd been trying to master for 30 years.

Marty does the same. He has coffee every Wednesday with his friend Augie, who's in his mid-80s.

Your takeaway: Swap small talk for real questions. Then actually listen.

C: Choose Empathy

If belonging is the house, empathy is the front door.

Bette shared a greeting she learned from the Zulu tradition. Instead of "Hey, how you doing?" it means, "I see you, I admire you, and I'm here to support you." The reply? "I appreciate that you see me and value me."

Then she got real. Bette is a caregiver for her adult daughter, and some days she wants to walk away. What keeps her going is a circle of five friends who meet every two weeks. They don't just offer kind words. They step up and help.

Your takeaway: Empathy isn't lip service. It's showing up.

O: Offer Small, Repeatable Acts

Belonging isn't built in one grand gesture. It's built in steady little moments.

Marty gave a heartfelt shout-out to his brother, "Baby Joe." Since Marty started radiation treatments for cancer, Joe has texted him every single morning. Cartoons. Jokes. Check-ins. Marty joked that answering them can be a little annoying. Then he admitted the truth: those texts tell him he matters.

Bette remembered the same magic from childhood. At six, she joined the Sunbeam Choir at church. The director made every Saturday rehearsal feel special, with cookies, small gifts, and warmth. Decades later, Bette still keeps in touch with a couple of those choir friends.

Your takeaway: A weekly call beats a once-a-year grand gesture.

N: Nurture One Connection Now

Don't wait for the perfect time. Marty uses his drive home to call someone instead of zoning out. During COVID, he created a habit called "Spin the dial, share a smile." Scroll your contacts, stop at random, and call that person just because.

Bette takes it even further. She once pulled her car over, hopped out, and handed roses from her garden to a stranger walking alone.

Your takeaway: Pick one person and reach out today. Not next week. Today.

Laughter, Honesty, and Big Ideas

This conversation feels like two old friends at a kitchen table.

There's laughter. Marty confesses he was "fired" as an altar boy for walking left when he was supposed to go right. He still remembers how it felt to watch his old crew without him. Bette tells Marty to stay close to the mic. Marty jokes about bite-a-pencil smile training: "Either people think you're happy, or they think you're crazy."

There's vulnerability. Bette admits she was bullied as a smart kid. Marty speaks openly about cancer treatment. Both show that belonging matters most when life gets hard.

And there are bold ideas. They warn that social media likes aren't real connection. They imagine a future where people choose robots over relationships. Bette brings in research from the HeartMath Institute on how hearts can sync when people are close. She also shares the story of her friend Rochelle Zola, who offers hugs and conversation to strangers and walked 825 miles to Selma, Alabama, meeting people along the way.

Marty's gift is his curiosity. He tosses Bette unscripted questions, builds on her stories with his own, and leaves room for her wisdom to land. The result? A conversation that feels less like an interview and more like an invitation.

Bacon Bits: Your 5 Big Takeaways

Belonging is a health habit. Treat connection like diet and exercise.
Small acts build big bonds. Texts, calls, and coffee add up.
Empathy is the front door. "I see you" can change someone's day.
Change shakes belonging, but it doesn't break it. New jobs, moves, and retirement are chances to find new people.
Be the one who goes first. Someone in every room is waiting for a hello.

Tune In, Pass It On, and Reflect

This post gives you the recipe. The full episode gives you the flavor: the laughs, the stories, and the moments that will stick with you on your drive home.

Listen to the full episode of Bacon Bits with Master Happiness wherever you get your podcasts or on YouTube. Then share it with the person who always makes everyone else feel welcome. They deserve to feel seen, too.

Before your next event, meeting, or Monday, sit with this question:

When was the last time you truly felt you belonged, and who could you help feel that way this week?

Reach out to one person. Then do it again. That's how we master happiness.

The Hunger to Belong: 5 BACON Steps to Build Real Connection

To learn more about The Hunger to Belong: 5 BACON Steps to Build Real Connection, Part 1 of 3 go to: www.MasterHappiness.com/live or “Bacon Bits with Master Happiness” on Apple Podcast, Spotify, Amazon Music, Audible, iHeart Radio or wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts.

See it on YouTube

Or catch us LIVE on "BACON BITS with Master Happiness" on 983thelife.com, Monday Night at 7:00 PM and start making your life SIZZLE!

BaconBitsRadio.com

Marty Jalove of Master Happiness is a Company Coach, Business Consultant, and Marketing Strategist that helps small businesses, teams, and individuals find focus, feel fulfilled, and have fun. He helps businesses struggling with communication issues between co-owners, staff, and customers grow a happier and healthier business.

Master Happiness stresses the importance of realistic goal setting, empowerment, and accountability in order to encourage employee engagement and retention. The winning concentration is simple: Happy Employees attract Happy Customers and Happy Customers come back with Friends.

Want to learn more about bringing more happiness into your workplace and life? Contact Master Happiness at www.MasterHappiness.com or www.WhatsYourBacon.com